Auschwitz & Birkenau

Sitting on the crowded bus to Auschwitz I felt alone as I wondered if I was the only person conjuring up images of the Jews making their own journeys to Auschwitz some 60 years ago. I would later find out that the naïve feeling of 'crowded' I felt in the bus was nothing compared to the hypoxic and disgusting conditions that the unwilling prisoners suffered. I was the lucky one, venturing to Auschwitz knowing what my journey entailed and with the comfort of awarm bed and food aplenty on my return. Unlike the men, boys, women and children who would never know they were essentially on death row, literally edging closer second by second to the end of their lives. 

Auschwitz, a deep and forever painful scar on the UNESCO world heritage list, was firstly an extermination camp and secondly a concentration camp. Not just a faceless Germanic word, Auschwitz was nefariously constructed with the sole purpose to rid Europe of Jews. The most iniquitous case of anti-Semitism and the site of the worst holocaust that history has ever witnessed.

These human beings; brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, daughters and sons all exterminated had faces, aspirations, families and hopes. They were neighbours. They were colleagues. They were friends, even best friends. They were innocent bystanders and had it not been for their lineage, they were executed at the behest of the detestable Nazis. Aside from bloodline, they really were no different from you, or I. They yearned for a better future, lived through love & supportand when times where tough survived on hope alone. The tyranny that took place at Auschwitz was both ruthless in its discrimination and atrocious at the indiscriminate mass murder of the prisoners. 

We sight the unmistakable symbol of Auschwitz, the archway with the doctrine 'Workwill set you free.' Later this would prove to be the first sign of the deception that pervaded the camp and underpinned the regime at Auschwitz. It's hard to pinpoint which emotion prevails; abhorrence at the sheer brutality of the Nazis or deep sadness and compassion at the pure suffering of the prisoners, the fortunate ones. The ones who were selected not to be immediately executed after they stepped off the train. 

Assisted by our knowledgeable guide we slowly come to terms with the conditions the prisoners barely survived in. The strongest feeling of helplessness and hopelessness I've ever experienced overcomes me and is only exacerbated as we are led past an entire room full of human hair. We follow this up with rooms upon rooms of personal effects; shoes, bags, toothbrushes, clothes. Each and every item with a story, with an active former life. Feeling disconnected from these stories, I stopped at a pair shoes. Although worn and soiled beyond anything we would endure today, they were a tangible reminder of the harsh conditions past. I willed myself to imagine a life once lived, experiences outside of Auschwitz. Experiences like happiness, feelings of content, excitement. I pictured the shoes being purchased, their shine no doubt equal to the grin of their new owner. A Man. I pictured the Man lacing the shoes up each morning, polishing them - initially weekly with much attention to detail. But later not all as the shoes begin to show signs of ageing. Momentarily I manage a small smile as I imagine the Man getting annoyed at the first timethe shoes get dirty. A feeling I've experienced myself. My mind skips back to reality, the worn and dead shoes before me. They've had a normal life, they were young, perfect and cared for before becoming old, albeit vastly experienced, worn and discarded. That’s more than can be said of the Man who owned them. Stripped naked both physically and metaphorically before being murdered. 

Shortly afterwards we are asked to turn our cameras off and informed that we are about to enter a gas chamber. A small group of us enter and exit the chamberin complete silence a dramatic contrast to the terrifying and utterly chaotic scenes that over 1 million Jews suffered as they literally gasped for their final breaths of air.

Unlike the prisoners and souls at Auschwitz, I entered Auschwitz voluntarily and left at my own will. As I left, I craned my neck upwards and cast my eyes at the gate as I passed beneath it and reminded myself of the events that passed and the faces and lives of the individuals that were wasted. Fittingly Auschwitz is now a place of reverence, reflection and silence. Forever a peaceful place with a tortured past.