Oh Beer*

*Grandmothers, you are not allowed to read  paragraphs 2 & 3 respectively. I appreciate your co-operation.

We boarded a twin engine, propeller propped plane, said goodbye to the land of blue and yellow, whipped out Lonely Planet, Julia's comprehensive (seriously) home-made (truly) Europe travel guide and began planning our sojourn to Copenhagen. According to the pilot we had 55 minutes - plenty of time to conjure up some form of itinerary.

After navigating through the red light district; avoiding eye contact with the disturbing number of prostitutes, being slightly impressed at the sheer variety of dildos available and vicariously learning how to buy drugs in Copenhagen we arrived at our hostel. Fortunately there was a buffet breakfast that would rival that of any 5 star hotel. Unfortunately aforementioned dildo and drug availability merely involved crossing our street. 

So much BUN!

In search of typical Danish fare and some local Carlsberg beer we arrived at a quaint, candle light and very intimate restaurant. Fortunately, the restaurant itself was literally 100m from our hostel. And when you’re staying in the red light district this proximity is particularly convenient. What we hadn’t been in of searching was a table next to a group of American physicians/scientists passionately debating the best treatment approach to sexually transmitted diseases. Notoriously loud and outspoken, these Americans didn’t disappoint and loudly declared, among a host of other things, 'PICTURE THIS, THE WALLS OF THE VAGINA SO DRY AND CRUSTED, LATHER THEM UP WITH SOME KY GEL....', one particular fellow obviously had a particular liking for the 'walls of the vagina' and really went to great lengths to get his numerous points across. Meanwhile, not known for my ability to conceal my laughter, I spent the best part of 10 minutes with my mouth firmly covered by my left bicep. Julia on the other hand was the reluctant recipient of a free and impromptu sexual health consultation. On the way back to our hostel our night was topped off when we walked past a hotel room at street level with the window wide open with full view of the plasma TV playing no doubt freshly purchased hardcore pornography. Jay in hysterics and the innocent Julia cussing under her breath. 

Considered the bike capital of the world, Copenhagen is a great place for a cycling enthusiast like myself. Its also a terrible place for a relatively inexperienced rider like Julia. As the numbers of cyclist are so large, there are also quite high standards and expectations in terms of; bike handling, etiquette and road rules. This is on top of having to read a map, digest Danish street signs and did I mention having to ride on the other side of the road!!!! Myself a relatively experienced cyclist and commuter found the going pretty tough, for Julia it was a nightmare. You look left instead of right, you turn corners erroneously and near misses were alarmingly frequent. Needless to say for poor Julia it was quite a tough introduction to cycling and my earlier speech about Copenhagen 'being the best place in the world to learn how to ride on busy roads' was some way off the mark and slightly naïve. Still it was impressive to see, there are traffic lights for bike lanes, cars will give way to bikes and there is a palpable understanding between cars, pedestrians, and cyclists. Really a cycling utopia.

 

Watch the road Julia!!!!!

I’m developing quite a penchant for beer. In Australia I've always felt that our 'beer culture,' is anything but cultured, overtly try hard and exaggerated ad nausea. Which is why I've grown to enjoy the more honest approach to beer in Europe. Infact it's so engrained in their culture and traditions that there is no approach - Its beer for beers sake, simple. So with my new found thirst for beer, the map and directions safely in my hands, Julia was surprised when we ended up at the Carlsberg beer factory. A veritable, insightful and aesthetically impres...blah blah blah - who cares! The fresh beer, straight from the factory will forever go down as one of the best glasses of beer I've ever consumed and for me one of the highlights of the trip so far. 

'You'll never walk alone!'

An unmistakeable and unjustly revered icon in Copenhagen is the Little Mermaid. It's common knowledge that this popular tourist attraction is a major disappointment and nothing more than a human sized sculpture of a mermaid. Which ironically is one of its attractions. I was very eager to see just how bad this stupid statue could be. Julia on the other hand was playing up the 'girly' stereotype and was unashamedly excited. So with vastly different reasons, we pedalled our way to the Little Mermaid. And it did not disappoint. Well it did - that's the attraction. It was the most over hyped and below average tourist attractions I've ever been to. Julia had a field day.

Ecstasy!

I feel that I’ve misrepresented Copenhagen to a large extent. It really was one of the best places I've ever visited. The food market was amongst the most comprehensive and at the same time unique I've experienced. The famed Danish pastry did not disappoint. Cycling around with lungs full of fresh winter air, getting intimate with Legoman and topping each day off with as much fresh golden and sparkling Carlsberg as one could manage was truly what travelling is all about.

Tak Denmark!

Legoman: "That's the spot right there."

Stunning!

Typical Danish open sandwhich.

Just trying to spice things up!